The start of a new school year can bring excitement, uncertainty and new experiences for children and youth. For some families, it may also be a time when a young person shares more about their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.
Kathleen Johnson (she/her), a senior advisor on PHSA’s
DEI team, who recently appeared on
CTV’s Your Morning Vancouver (photo, right) discusses ways that parents and caregivers can support children who come out as 2SLGBTQIA+ or gender diverse.
Drawing on both personal and professional experience, Kathleen says one of the most important things adults can do is listen.
“I have had 3 out of 5 of my children come out to me about different identities, and there was definitely a learning curve,” Kathleen remembers.
"I let them lead those initial conversations, which was tough as a parent, but helped me understand what they needed from me."
As students return to school, Kathleen says support should extend beyond the first conversation. “Support is not passive acceptance,” Kathleen continues. “It’s the daily work of removing barriers, challenging harassment, protecting privacy and making room for a young person to define themselves in their own time.”
School experiences can affect a young person's sense of belonging, mental health and willingness to seek support when needed. Parents, caregivers and allies can play an important role by actively listening, protecting privacy and advocating for safe and inclusive environments.
"Support must follow the child into classrooms, hallways, washrooms, sports, online spaces and health-care settings."
One practical way to support a gender-diverse student is to develop a
gender support plan together. According to Trans Care BC, a support plan can help create a shared understanding of how a student's authentic gender will be acknowledged and supported at school. The plan should be guided by the young person and revisited as their needs evolve.
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Names, pronouns and privacy: Record what the student wants used, by whom, in which settings and on which records. Plan how staff will respond to mistakes without making the student responsible for educating everyone.
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Trusted adults: Identify school staff the student can turn to for support.
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Facilities and activities: Confirm safe access to washrooms, change rooms, sport teams, clubs and overnight trips.
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Bullying and online harm: Know how incidents will be reported, addressed and navigated.
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Records and transitions: Review attendance systems, student portals, yearbooks, library cards and substitute-teacher information to help prevent accidental outing.
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Mental health and care: Identify affirming counselling, health care and crisis resources before they're urgently needed.
Trans Care BC Resources
Information for parents on working with schools and for youth and young adults on creating or accessing resources at school:
